Jodie Foster haunted by horrific dog tragedy, believes she gave up what she loved most for Hollywood success

Jodie Foster revealed a horrific childhood memory that has haunted her throughout her life.

During a recent interview with AARP magazine, the 63-year-old actress shared that the incident occurred in May 1976 on the night before the premiere of her movie "Taxi Driver" at the Festival de Cannes. Before Foster departed for France to attend the festivities, tragedy struck. 

"My puppy, he was a little guy," she recalled, "went careening down these very slick steps and hit a wall. His whole skull exploded into blood right in front of me."

At the time, Foster was just 13 years old. She told AARP that the traumatic event and its aftermath had a lifelong impact on her.

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Following the Cannes premiere of "Taxi Driver," critics heaped praise on her star-making performance in "Taxi Driver," which later earned Foster her first Oscar nomination. 

However, Foster said she locked herself in the bathroom, fearing she might have inadvertently entered a deal with the devil. 

Foster drew a comparison between her mindset then and that of the lead character in the 2001 French-language romantic comedy "Amélie," which starred Audrey Tautou. The official logline for the movie reads: "Despite being caught in her imaginative world, young waitress Amelie (Tautou) decides to help people find happiness. Her quest to spread joy leads her on a journey during which she finds true love."

"I had a whole internal thing that I had to give up the thing I loved most to get [this success]," Foster said. "It was like 'Amélie,' total magical thinking about how powerful I was. What a sad, sad moment. I didn't talk to my mother about it, or anyone."

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Foster recounted the newly resurfaced memory while discussing her new movie, the French psychological thriller "A Private Life (Vie privée)." "A Private Life," which premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) in September, stars Foster as renowned psychoanalyst Lilian Steiner, who becomes deeply troubled by one of her patient's death, which was officially deemed a suicide. Convinced that her patient was actually murdered, Lilian launches her own investigation.

Foster emphasized that more than a straightforward murder mystery, "A Private Life" explores how people suppress traumatic experiences that they refuse to face.

"Lilian thinks she's solving a mystery," the actress said. "But the truth is, the entire path she takes is about her turning around in a circle so that she can see sides of herself she was unwilling to see."

While speaking with AARP, Foster, who launched her Hollywood career as a child model when she was 3, reflected on how she developed the ability to compartmentalize her feelings from a young age. 

Foster recalled how ahead of being cast as child prostitute Iris in "Taxi Driver," she was required to undergo a four-hour evaluation administered by a studio-appointed psychologist to ensure she was "sane enough" and would not be harmed by participating in the film.

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The actress credited her mother with teaching her the "survival skills" that she would need to separate herself from her craft. 

"I'm grateful that my mom loved me and wanted to protect my psyche," she said. "She taught me how to be careful with what I gave out. You give a lot as an actor. I gave my whole life. I mean, from the time I was 3 years old, I've given my entire life, everything that I had, I gave. If I wanted to survive, there were areas that people just weren't going to have."

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The two-time Oscar winner told AARP that she had found a new peace in her 60s after struggling with self-doubt during the previous decade. 

"My 50s were hard," Foster admitted. "I felt like a failure. I kept thinking I was supposed to do something meaningful and hadn't done it. I felt like I couldn't live up to my own potential - like I couldn't compete with my younger self."

Foster explained that "everything changed" after she turned 60. 

"It was like a light bulb went off in my head," she recalled. "I was like, 'Yeah, I don't care. I'm no longer tortured by any of this. I don't know why I seemed to care so much.' "